Side Note

I want to put this side note in here, because I think that it is important. This does ultimately effect not just you but everybody that you are close to. However, I want you to remember that unless the people that you are close to have been through this process, it will be very hard for them to understand. A lot of times the way they will respond is emotionally. That can be anger or other extreme versions of emotion. It will take a long while for everyone to come to terms with what is happening, but part of this journey is learning to be patient along the way with everything. My parents and I have always had a rocky relationship, one where we fight a lot, but I am close with my family nonetheless. For the first couple of months of all this. To be quite honest actually, from May until December when I was finally sentenced there was a lot of tension and a lot of fighting when the discussion of the DUI came up. However, it has forced a bridge of honesty for us and it has taken our relationship to a new and very real level where we are okay with each other. In a lot of ways I have my DUI to thank for the change in the relationship with my family. Because I think that my relationship with them has been strengthened because of it. Because while I made a mistake it has forced me to make hard choices and to do things to turn my life around. I was never an "alcoholic" which is what is the tendency for people to think when someone has multiple DUIs. I just couldn't let go of the control that we all seem to think we need to just not get into my car and drive after I had a drink. At this point in time after going through all of this I have gotten to the point that when I am done with all of this if I am drinking I will not be driving and if I am driving I will not be drinking. Not even 1 drink. You can't do it, because at this point in time it is the officer's discretion and it doesn't matter if you are under the legal limit or not, if the officer smells alcohol on you, he will take you in, because as far as the officer will think they will think that clearly you didn't get it the first two times so I guess you need a third to figure it out. And if you think that the second is bad the third is going to be a million times worse. And I can guarantee from my own standpoint I have absolutely no curiosity to find that out for myself. Learn it here and now. Figure out a way to never be back here, because while it seems like it will never end, it will and you will have your life back and once I have my life back I am not going to allow anyone to take that away from me ever again. It's not worth the emotional roller coaster that I have been going through, or the one that I have put my family through. We all have a moment of epiphany and it will come to you and when it does I am sure that most will agree with this.

Starting the Process

The following Monday meant getting down to business and getting myself prepared for the long journey ahead. Monday started with me having to talk to my manager and letting her know the circumstances and what had happened. This is honestly the hardest part of the whole process is sucking up your pride and telling people things that you under any circumstances ou would not want them to know. I am not going to lie about this, I had just been promoted to a manager position at my restaurant and due to this situation and the fact that I missed a Saturday at my restaurant on Cinco De Mayo weekend, I almost lost my job. I was on thin ice for a long time, and I had to work twice as hard to get myself back in good graces with my bosses. After I spoke with  my boss I then went and got myself signed up for Level II Alcohol education classes right away. I wanted to make sure that I had done everything in my power to do things the right way and do things that were going to  get me going and would give me higher ground. Part of the reason that I am writing this is so that if anyone has questions, they have a way to get those answered.  There are more people with a DUI than don't and yet there is no information as to what process you should go through and what you should expect. It sucks being in the dark, and it sucks not having the power in all of this. After I signed up for education classes I then started shopping lawyers. There is usually no need for a lawyer after the first DUI, however, common sense tells us that on the second you are going to need a lawyer. I am not the kind of person who just settles so it took me a little bit to find somebody who I felt comfortable with who was going to fight for me. After talking with several people I found the right person. His name is Jonathan Booker of Hernandez and Associates. After having gone through the process, I could not have been happier with my choice. He got me the best possible scenario for the situation that I was in and for a reasonable price on top of that. After signing up for classes, saving my job, procuring a lawyer I then went to the DMV and requested the hearing for my license. This gives you an additional amount of time to drive before they decide on revoking your license or not. This was all stuff that I did within a week of the DUI and it was well worth the effort that I put into it.

The Beginning

I was stopped for my DUI 2nd on May 3, 2014. I met my Aunt to go do karaoke. I didn't intend to stay out late or even to drink much. Things always change. I started talking to a guy while I was sitting with my Aunt and he was intelligent and was impressed with my knowledge of baseball I hadn't eaten much all day so the two margaritas that I had went straight to my head and I could feel that they had effected me more than they normally would. The restaurant we were at was closing and I was invited to go across the way to a bar to hang out. I wasn't completely comfortable agreeing with this in the first place but I went anyway. So we left and went to this bar. I was bought a third drink at this point which I barely drank out of. I sang a couple songs and it was time to leave. The place we went to was not one that I was familiar with, nor is it located in a convenient location. Please do not take this in any way as a form of me making excuses, because I am past that point and do not make excuses for myself in regards to this, it is merely stating a fact. Anyway, as I got into my car to leave, I lit a cigarette and pulled across the parking lot thinking I could get onto the main road to get to my house. This, however, was not the case, instead I was coming off a curb and on the other side of this curb sat two police cars who I did see and I knew the minute that I pulled off the curb that I was getting a DUI. I called my parents to let them know what was going on and I waited for my fate. I was asked out of my car, and so started my DUI second. I am quite possibly the clumsiest person in the entire world, and I have no center. For this reason I truly detest the roadside maneuvers. I can't do these maneuvers sober let alone after I have had any alcohol. I told the officer 5 times that I did not want to participate in the roadside maneuvers. In fact I told him that I would blow and let him take me down to wherever I was taken and that would be that. Despite my insistence of this he forced me to do the maneuvers. I was then handcuffed and put into the police car. At this point I was aware that there was another party in the car with us. If you find yourself ever in this situation, make sure that you get as much information as you possibly can throughout the evening and commit it to memory, it will only help especially when you decide to make that next crucial step of hiring a lawyer. So I was trying to get as much information as I possibly could. However, as many times as I asked all of this information, nobody would give me the information I was seeking. I have always been a good girl, I have always followed the rules and been respectful to people. However, this is something you soon find out in situations like this, when you have been arrested for a DUI, they don't care whether you are nice or if you are a horrible menace. No matter who it is that you are, you will be treated like the scum of society. As you go through this process, this becomes more and more apparent. You have to build up your own self esteem and not let it define you. We made our way down to Arapahoe house, also known as detox. I chose to blow because I hate needles and after having done this once before it was known to me that blood raises the BAC when it is taken. I blew and was sent to be taken into the facility. I was still upset that nobody would give me the name of the other person that was in the car. The guy who was doing my intake asked me what was wrong and I told him this. The police officer then came over and told me in the haughtiest tone that he could muster that she is the DA that would be prosecuting my case. More about that later. Now at this point I was angry with myself, with the situation, with everything around me and I had become insolent and not the normal pleasant person that I am. As I was sitting there getting all of my stuff taken from me it was at this point about 2 in the morning. I then called my boss to let her know that I would not be in for work. I was in detox for about 8 hours. In this time my vitals were checked hourly and then the next morning we were told to wake up and I was at one point questioned about whether or not I spoke spanish. I do in fact speak spanish and they ushered me off to spanish speaking AA classes. At the point that I was released from detox I had to make the fateful call to my parents to have them come pick me up knowing that there would be hell to pay. I stood there waiting in the clothes that I had worn all day the day before to work in and reeking of alcohol and shame. It was one of the most shameful days of my life. They picked me up and the car ride was horribly silent. My 5 year old nephew who had no idea what was going on was trying to talk to me and all I could think about is what getting home would bring. I would liken the anger of my parents to a horrible thunder storm because it was a lot of screaming and lot of crying on my part. I had completely disappointed them in the worst way possible. After all of this was done I then had to find out where they had my car impounded and once again I had to have my parents take me to take care of this as well. The whole day just felt like a dream. We had tickets to see a baseball game that night and everyone was just in a horrible mood. Considering the circumstances there is really no other way to react. That is only the beginning though, and feelings evolve and change through the process.

A short history

I received my first DUI n March of 2010. I was on my way home from  Lakewood with some people I worked with. It was becoming more and more of a Friday tradition to go out after work and I was almost always there. This was at a time in my life that I was working a 9 - 5 office job and so I was working all week and we would leave work on Fridays and go have some drinks to blow off steam. I had a good job and unfortunately was mixed in with the wrong sort of people and behavior. I do still remember my first DUI, however, as time passes, and years go by there is a tendency to suppress the memories of everything that you went through for all of that. And also there is a big big difference between DUI law in 2010 and DUI law in 2014. This was about the time that the laws were starting too take a very big turn for the harsher, and while I didn't experience much of the super harsh realities of the first DUI, I am definitely experiencing the harsh realities of the second. When I went through the first it was just about what you would expect from anything. The night that I was pulled over, it was the weekend before St. Patricks Day and detox was full so I was taken to jail to sober up. This was a significant plus as there was no charge for detoxing in jail. I blew a .095 which was barely over the legal limit over the time, but let's keep in mind throughout this, that from this point forward in your life it doesn't matter if you blow a .0095 or a .095 you will be over the legal limit, and you will get another DUI. Because I was so low I didn't think I needed a lawyer. I did my research and I went to court. I lost my license at the DMV hearing which at the time you still had to drive all the way up to the Lakewood office for the hearing. Of course these days they are all phone in hearings because I guess they realized that once they took away people's licenses, they technically had no way  of going home afterward. The DMV hearing was the day before my court hearing. The court hearing was also pretty standard. I went in, talked to the DA and got my plea deal. DWAI with probation, 24 hours of community service, track A classes, MADD panel, and should I be caught for anything or sent back for anything the possibility of a year in jail. I got started with everything, got the interlock installed in my car and I was done with everything including probation and interlock within a year. In fact I was released from probation a month early. I went through the process and was somewhat compliant and got done and moved forward. Well as you know the following will be testament to what I did not learn the first time I went through this.

Preface

I want to start this on a note so that everybody knows what to expect. This is all based on real life experience, and I want people to know that it took me a good portion of my journey to feel confident, optimistic and open enough to share this with the world. There are several reasons to  me beginning to write this in the first place. There is absolutely no road map for people to follow in this process. Most people are too embarrased to share their experience. And yes it is a very hard and sometimes embarrasing situation that you go through in this. I have been humbled to the point of becoming a new person. I feel like I can share my insight and journey with people without feeling bad about myself and without feeling sorry for myself. If you find yourself going through this process, prepare yourself for an emotional roller coaster unlike any you have ever encountered in your life. The only advice to which I can give to anyone in the same situation is to be true to yourself and do not put yourself in the position of being angry. If you do so choose to be angry over any of this at any point in time, you must remember one thing. Be angry at yourself, you are the reason that you are in this situation and nobody else made the decision for your that got you here. Bear in mind this is all first hand account as someone living the DUI second life every day. I am in the same boat as everyone else. We all have different stories and we all have different lifestyles but at the end of the day I am in the trenches with everyone else living the nightmare that I made for myself. Not everyone is willing to accept, but be patient and in time you might come to a point of forgiveness, understanding and a humbling reality of everything. Please leave comments and questions if you have them and I will get back to you on everything. Also the only name that will be used will be mine. Everyone else's namees will be withheld or changed throughout this blog. Happy Reading.